Convenient Little Synopsis

Hello there, my three faithful readers. I am so sorry I haven’t written a post in the last few weeks. But you see, I have been incredibly busy – far too lazy busy to write. But I will try to make up for it by giving you a quick update on everything. Consider this a convenient little synopsis of our lives.

First, my dear little Joe, who turns 8 in two days, finally made the decision that he would stop wetting the bed and peeing into random items of clothing and hiding pee-soaked items all over his room. This is a situation I have been living with for two years. I don’t know what finally made him stop. I tried everything. Therapy. Wearing pull-ups. Not wearing pull-ups. More therapy. A mechanical alarm to wake him when he pees. A brief stint with medication. More therapy. Ignoring it. Paying attention to it. Making him change his own sheets. More therapy.

Finally, in the end, I think what worked is that I grounded him from his room. I didn’t just ground him from it, I very dramatically had his Dad come over and install a big, huge lock on the outside of his bedroom door with a power drill while Joe stood staring in disbelief. He was a boy without a room for 10 days. He slept on a camping mat in the hallway, which was conveniently located right outside the bathroom door. He had to change clothes in the bathroom – the clothes I picked out for him. He had no access to his toys, his precious bed, his clothing, nothing. As I explained to him, when you don’t respect your room, your bed or your clothes, then you don’t get a room, or a bed or clothes. This was pure torture for Joe, and I don’t think he wants to go through it again any time soon. So, it has been about 6 weeks. No intentional bedwetting, no pee soaked clothes hidden in secret spots in his room. No more writing ‘asshole’ on his new blue flannel sheets with a big black Sharpie pen. Yes readers, it is truly one of God’s miracles. I highly recommend grounding a child from his room when you have to correct very, very bad behavior.

Second, my sister moved into town from Seattle. She had a small little condo in Bellevue which she sold for about 4-1/2 million times what she paid for it in 1986. She bought a mansion in an exclusive area of town and practically paid cash for it. And I mean to tell you, her place is huge. 3-car garage, 3 BR 2 BA, huge master suite, closets everywhere you turn, it is amazing. And, here I sit in my little 1948 rambler, complete with 1200 sq. feet and the smallest closets you have ever seen. They must have only had 3 or 4 outfits per family back in 1948, that’s all I can figure. And did I mention that I only have one bathroom that I am forced to share with my two filthy dirty growing boys? Anyway, I try really really hard not to be jealous of my sister and her good fortune. And I also try really hard to restrain the green-eyed monster when I think about her cushy, executive HR job where she makes more than double what I do. And here I sit scrimping along as a single working mother trying to feed my two growing boys. But, I do manage to get the upper hand with her due with my extensive knowledge of home repairs and yard maintenance. I have to tell her what to do almost every day. There’s quite a bit of satisfaction in that, you know, because she is much older than me (a year and eight days older.) She is somewhat helpless and prissy, and I am a fix-it, do-it-all kind of girl, and she frequently needs to be told to buckle down and do the dirty work. You know, all the dirty work that goes along with taking care of a 3-year old mansion in the ritzy part of town. But hey, I’ve got two things she ain’t got: a brand new blazing-fast laptop, and two growing boys, so neener, neener, neener!

Third, the boys started school and they are both doing fabulous. Michael is in honor’s math which has the stringent requirement that you must maintain an 82% or above or you get knocked down to ‘regular’ math at the end of the quarter. He is also in Math Club. That sounds like sheer torture to me, but he thinks it is fun, so I guess that’s the important thing. Except for now they want a check for $40. Somehow I don’t understand why I have to pay $40 to have my son sit around and do math problems on Tuesday afternoons. So, I have decided to conveniently forget that they want $40. They will have to send the mafia after me to collect on that bill. Michael continues to look and sound more like a teenager every day. At his school Open House two weeks ago (see, I told you I was too lazy busy to write) one of his teachers pulled me aside and said, “you just wait, he will grow out of this awkward stage fairly soon, really he will.” And then he squeezed my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic gaze. I am not sure what was behind that unsolicited comment, but I can only guess it is because Michael can barely walk down the hall without tripping over his own two feet. I guess I will take those words of encouragement in the spirit in which they were intended, as soon as I figure out what that is. Here is Michael on the first day of school.

Joe is also doing well in school. He has gotten “greens” every day since school started. Greens are good. Reds are very, very bad. Joe got more than his share of red’s last year. Getting too many reds could cause a kid to lose the right to have his own bedroom, just so you know. His math skills are pretty solid, and his reading is….well, okay. I guess he might be at 2nd grade level but I’m not so sure. I work with him every night, but it is kind of frustrating. I worry that he will fall behind in that area. But, where he really shines is in art. That kid is amazing. At Open House last week (see, I told you I was too lazy busy to write) his teacher showed me some of his art work. It was dramatically better than all the other kids’ work. And I am not just saying that – it was really good! I am about as good in Art as I am in Math, so both boys’ abilities are just amazing to me. Joe also started Awana at church on Wednesday nights. He is doing much better this year. Perhaps it is because they have a brand new workbook that actually makes sense, or perhaps it is his new-found self-confidence in his decision to pee in the toilet and not into his personal belongings. Hmmm. Here is Joe on the first day of school.

Two loving brothers.

So, on Thursday, Sept, 25 it is Joe’s 8th birthday. We are having a dinner party with all of his grandparents. Even his grandparents from Alaska are coming! I haven’t told the boys so they will be very, very surprised. Shhhhh. Don’t tell ‘em! I am so excited that I cannot sleep at night. Oh, maybe that’s because I have to make dinner for 15 people. Yes, 15 people in my little house with 1 bathroom. Please don’t alert the Fire Dept because I am sure I will be in violation of several building codes. I have been scouring Pioneer Woman’s blog and the RecipeZaar site for recipes. But, then I came to my senses and decided to let Stouffer’s make the lasagna. Hey, it was on sale for $10 each, so let’s be reasonable people! Then, on Saturday we are having a roller skating party with six of Joe’s closest friends. That should be fun. Right? Right. I can hardly wait until Sunday when all the flurry is over. And then I will lay on the couch with my new, blazing-fast laptop and reminisce about all of the events of the week with my two growing boys.

So, on Sunday I promise to post photos of Joe’s Birthday, photos of all of the grandparents and photos of my sister’s mansion. Yes, all three of my devoted readers, I will leave you until we meet again on Sunday, unless I am too lazy busy to write!